2006-01-12
afraid of change.
She left. And sometimes I talk to myself in the car like we're still together and things haven't changed. Sometimes I dream about our lives crossing in the future and things being forever.
I think about the songs I hear with her and what they meant to us. How they reflected how much we both hate change and are afraid of change. But we both know what's good for us and we do it.
And I tried to remember how much I used to like her when I didn't even know her. I remembered how much I fantasized about everything she really is and realized that yes, she is everything I ever dreamed.
But you know the feeling. All she has to do is walk by and I can smell sweetness. I could wrap my arms around her and contently kiss her forever.
And the goodbye wasn't even real, because it has been extended to Friday. And then possibly to next week if Meggers is down with driving to her apartment or whatever.
I can't even comprehend it. I don't think I've ever gotten this close to her in such a short period of time. I feel like she knows me now... and doesn't think I'm a complete idiot. And actually cares.
But I miss her.
oilandwater at 12:02 p.m.