2004-10-12
The cruise to hell - a question if immorality and ethnic cleansing
Of course it's like this. What... I thought it'd be easy? Where I have to find time, make time, deliver time and create time. This is not who I am. I share time. I recycle time. I mix up with time.
If what you think you have is all you think you have, than you need to look through the mirror and see the other side of what's in your life.
I didn't mean it. My face gets twisted and I forget that I'm looking at people while it contorts and retracts. This is the person who hears all the stories before anyone else. This is the person who knows how I'm going to feel before I feel it. And when I'm crazy inside for being scared and wanting everyone to be there when anything happends. Because there is only one person I really trust, I wish it wasn't that way. I need to allow myself to trust the world and see everyone with big eyes and accepting features. And while I think that's exactly what I'm doing, I'm making our ties knotted and our worlds warped.
I thought that I helped things get better. I thought that I fought to help us win together. I thought that things worked out. And now it's scattered chaos... because you make me feel like I'm being selfish. Actually, I don't know what you make me feel. But I don't like that you're not okay with it. I don't like that things can't just happen the way they do.
I had a very calming weekend, and I am very glad I had everyone to share that with. Just help me understand what is so wrong... what is so bad... what is so roll eyes and flip hair and walk away really fast so you don't have to see my face anymore about it all.
oilandwater at 9:41 a.m.