2004-12-05
now you know why
My heart remembers.
It ticked forever, and it was referred to as a contact. It was referred to as a piece of information to file away and put on the waiting list, because, sorry, we're full.
How far away things have become.
But when the heart gets weary, a question seems well worth an attack. On humanity, I'm sure.
And personal business isn't personal business anymore. Didn't you know it made the front page?
But that was only once, before, that things seemed to work.
Accordingly, I am childish, petty, insecure, condescending, scary, and make people feel stupid. I guess that's what I should've wrote on my description of what other people think of me. Because that's the truth.
I'm against the world, also. Newsflash to me... I had no idea. I thought I was a friend of the world.
I have accepted this change for about a month. I've dealt with the configurations and the drama. As sick of it as I am, I can't leave it hanging. But I'm sure, just like everything else in my life, that when I hear their names in years to come, my gut will sink and my mind will spin.
It was too good to be true, that things were better. Who was I kidding...
and it's hardly over with. It was hardly touched.
I suppose that as long as I know that I am concerned with more than just myself, that I can expect great things. Sometime. Someday. Somebody. Somehow. Somewhere.
Not here.
oilandwater at 9:49 p.m.