2005-06-01
slipping into white limos
Really think about it... our lives are the only things we have control of. I swallow hard and suddenly can not hear anything. No more breathing, and I can feel my life as an old woman. Crying for another moment back, begging for another chance, asking for a grace.
These two lines... Your life is blessed.
I have discontinued any kind of expectations. The only dreams I know are the pictures I see in my sleep and the screens move fast enough so I can not follow. The only companions I know are my puppies - who will forever be moaning upstairs until I ask them to sleep by my side.
If you see a boy, and see him the next day, and the next day - chances are that there is something he has to tell you, and there is a reason he is there.
I do not live my life in fear. Then there is beauty to living. I see the sky, and I capture air - I consume the greatest pleasures.
I have never seen her so happy.
And I've never been. With restrictions, I am learning to make the most of what is available. This is my summer in St Louis - in CT. That trip forced me to grow up a little more.
You're allowed to be mad at him for that.
But I'm not. He ran away once, and I was too little to remember. He has never been a father. But even when my heart feels hollow, it continues to gush with love and passion.
I think that's something you need to work on... CHUCKLES
It is true that I thought I knew what love was. The tingle and the touch. The motion and the flow. The grin and the pain. But it turned into talk, talk, talk. Empty spaces filled with talk, talk, talk. Empty feelings filled with talk, talk, talk. Wasted energy. Wasted time. It is going to return in the summer, with more heat and more aggrivation. Having spoken to each other less, having blown it off, it will be folded into messes of laughter and love punches. If what I thought was love turned into angst... how can I ever trust myself again?
oilandwater at 11:25 p.m.